Spa for the soul?

I was aghast at plumbing through depths of emotional angst at a spa. A spa, for heaven’s sake! What ever happened to good old-fashioned, shallow self-indulgence?
In my desperate attempts to divert my tortured state of mind, I have been indulging in several futile exercises. After swimming, the latest one was body spa. I had heard and read how wonderful it felt and how it had a unique way of making you feel good about your body. Yes, that was quite true. What I didn't read, however, was that there was no body spa that had a similar effect on the mind.
But let me honestly admit, my senses did feel pampered at that point of time. I opted for an aura massage – a combination of Thai, Swedish and Hawaiian massage techniques – to make dent in to my fiercely protected emotional baggage and an almond and saffron facial since it sounded quite exotic. For a while I floated off to the mountains, the place of floating wisps of clouds where everything smelt of hibiscus and lavender oil. The oil that trickled down my back felt like snowflakes and it had the warm fuzzy after-effects. The fabulous head and feet massage that the ultimate effect on my jaded soul.
At the end of the two and half hour session, I finally forced myself to believe that I felt greatly relaxed and had a silly smile on my face as I walked back.

But all this was so shortlived that I couldnt help feeling stupid at my brazenly shameless levels of self-indulgence. For the rest of evening I cried. My soul ached for a spa - a supremely exotic one!
I wish I never went for a body spa...atleast I could imagine that there were, perhaps, few things in life that could make me a feel a little nice.

As I write now, I can just see letters swim into each other and memories colliding together to form a dark inky mass of vapour that hangs over my head.

I looked at my fast bloating figure in the long mirror....which was another grave mistake of the day.

I have decided to skip dinner.