Bubble of despair

Apart from making resolution lists, editing them, brooding over life, indulging in useless shopping ventures, and watching sunsets, I managed to spend time watching films. The recent one that i saw was The story of Adele H' by Francois Truffaut.
What really hits hard about the film is its simple yet poignant narration of unrequitted love and subsequent self-destruction. A lilting film with a tidal pull to it. It's about a woman who is destroyed by her passion for a man who is indifferent to her - a woman who realizes herself in self-destruction.
Adele, the daughter of writer Victor Hugo, and her obessive neurotic love for naval officer Lieutenant Pinson. This film is so totally concentrated on one character. We become as much absorbed in Adele as she is in Lieutenant Pinson. And explains the nature of neurotically willed romanticism through the character. The subject of the movie is the self-destructive love that everyone has experienced in one form or another and the riveting character of Adele goes all the way with it.
You believe her capable of anything, because you can't see yet what she is. To get her love, she fools herself to believe a magician, destroys Pinson's hope of happiness by claiming to his fiancee's father, that Pinson is married to her, changes her identity as Mrs. Pinson. But at the end, losing her mental balance and fails to recognise him.

Another 10 days left to slip into 2010. The year 2009 seems so unreal in the calender of time that its almost like a slap on the face of life. I hate changing calenders. Jan has never been the beginning of a year for me, it has just been a number. The number that used to once excite me. Now mocks at me as I snow-glide into the not-so-envious years of life.

This time I promised to make my New Year resolution list a lil real n attainable. So here it goes:

1. Read more. Instead of reading three books at a time, finish up the books in a month’s time.
2. Start the day with music
3. Spend time alone, productively
4. Panic less, practice calm
5. Manage anger (this is the most difficult of the lot)
6. Listen to the soul-speak rather than getting overwhelmed by stupid pointless emotions
7. Learn to make cakes that don’t require a drilling machine to cut. (have recently failed in 3 consecutive attempts)
8. Get madly happy for no big reasons
9. Keep a collection of fine wines, not necessarily to get drunk (the bottles luk more pretty)
10. Get less of reds and oranges in the wardrobe
11. Make travel plans happen
12. Acknowledge the fact that being ‘single’ does not necessarily signify the marital status n be cool with it
13. Talk less and listen more (rather only) to sane voices (a tough one again, not the listening part...but finding sane voices)
14. Convert drafts into blog posts (need to cut down on my hours of sleep...drastically)
15. Take disappointments as a basic element of life (this is not an option)
16. Accept the fact that most people will fail your trust n most people are assholes
17. Figure out more interesting ways to handle depression than shopping and fussing over hair 18. Buy green and blue nail paints
19. Expect a lil less during annual increments and a lot less in love
20. Cry hard and get over it sooner
22. Cut down on sleeping hours ( again...a very difficult one. i think i am gonna fail here!)
23. Finish watching the CDs selected by Baba
24. No eye-liners when I am in a screwed up state of mind. (takes a hell of an effort to remove it from teary eyes n its quite embarassing too)
25. Buy more pot plants