I am stuck in such a strange quagmire of existence that even starting a blog seemed like a great effort. I am living in an organised disorder of intense emotions. At times I am overwhelmed by an undefinable loneliness and gloom that by now, I have become accustomed to like a trusted friend and less of a torment.
My mornings smell of despair and nights bring in memories that float up like phantoms. I don't remember days when I've woken up to a sense of well-being. And now I am reduced to a helpless victim of fits of melancholy. Years of non-creative existence, a dusty mind with overbearing unfulfilled desires and wasted emotions have paralysed me.

You feel that time heals all pain. I think anyone who has had a close encounter with death or has seen sufferring closely, will know that it is something that stays with you forever. I have seen the death bird silently pecking away the last bits of life. The helpless feeling of watching your loved ones fade away with time is frighteningly painful! The eyes that once looked at you lovingly getting disintegrated, the lifeless pale hands that once held you through the tides of life or the resounding sounds of laughter that has now become just a faint distant murmur in the pages of memory! It's surely not easy on the heart. It's like living in a house knowing well that one day an earthquake will crumble it into pieces without leaving any semblance of its existence.
Yes, life does continue despite the discontinuities surrounding it. And there are times when you laugh, enjoy the quick moments of ecstasy and listen to songs that once played through the days when you were a six-year-old. And then again you smile, may be it was an old joke you shared...you want to smile again. But you can't!